POINTS TO CONSIDER AND DISCUSS
1) Many times, a new believer (after accepting the gift of salvation by grace through Christ) is simply given a Bible and expected to effectively grow to spiritual maturity. Is that realistic?
While it is possible, we think it is the exception. Because some new believers appear to grow spiritually with little individual mentoring, wrong conclusions may be drawn.
We are tempted to ask, “Why can’t more Christians grow like that?” In the secular world there are those who excel without much help from others, but they are the exception.
For instance, we can hand a computer software manual to 100 people who have no prior knowledge or experience with that program. Some will manage to slowly figure things out. But many will become frustrated and decide that the program really isn’t worth all the hassle.
Many Christians left on their own, reach the same conclusion regarding the Christian life.
Which would you prefer: to be given a computer manual to learn on your own, or to have someone take the time to personally tutor you in the beginning, help you apply the program to what is important to you and answer your questions?
We could truthfully state that the manual has all the knowledge you’ll need, and it is clearly presented.
If you were building a house but were inexperienced, how many people could do a decent job with just being handed the blueprints and instructions for building a house? Not many.
2) Can’t just the Holy Spirit teach / mentor a new believer?
While the Holy Spirit is promised to teach us and help us understand, the Biblical analogy of a new believer being like a baby in 1 Thessalonians 2:3-13 shows us that they will develop more quickly and healthier with individual care.
The command to “make disciples” conveys much more than the idea of just handing someone a Biblical manual. The Holy Spirit expects older Christians to be available for His use in the process of spiritual coaching / mentoring / parenting, just as He wants them to be available as witnesses when He chooses to convict an unbeliever.
In this transition, your congregation becomes spiritually healthy, and spiritual reproduction should be observable and measurable, and everyone should be in the process of either being spiritually mentored or mentoring someone.
As believers grow spiritually, we should see the transition from simply being a convert to becoming a Biblical disciple of Jesus Christ.
3) Isn’t a Spiritual Gift needed to disciple?
MISCONCEPTION: There is a common misconception that the average Christian cannot effectively mentor another believer unless they are “spiritually gifted.” We don’t believe there is scriptural basis for that belief.
REALITY: Most Christians correctly believe that they should be available to the Lord to be a witness to the unsaved, even though there is not a “witnessing” gift. Likewise, there is not a “discipling” gift.
This misconception can be a convenient rationale to excuse the lack of discipleship, but it has no scriptural basis. Church leadership ought to convey to congregations that every Christian should be available to the Holy Spirit as a witness and a spiritual mentor.
1) God has not intended for every believer to be gifted as an “evangelist”.
Ephesians 4:11 And He personally gave … some evangelists, …
1a) But God has intended for every believer to be available to Him as a “witness” (not a spiritual gift.)
Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come on you, and you will be My witnesses …
1 Peter 3:15 but honor the Messiah as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.
2) God has not intended for every believer to be gifted as a “teacher”.
Ephesians 4:11 And He personally gave … some pastors and teachers
Romans 12:6-8 According to the grace given to us, we have different gifts: … if teaching, in teaching;
2a) But God has intended for every believer to be available to Him as a “discipler / mentor” (that is, a “spiritual parent”), which is not a spiritual gift.
1 Thessalonians 2:7-13 … instead we were gentle among you, as a nursing mother nurtures her own children. … like a father with his own children, we encouraged, comforted, and implored each one of you …
John 12:24-26 I assure you: Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces a large crop.…
Matthew 28:18-20 (Command to the Church) Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations,
Both the command to be witnesses, as well as the command to make disciples, were given to the Church at large, not just to those who were physically present at the time. (Matthew 28:18-20 and Acts 1:8)
Every believer should be seen as a potential witness, as well as a potential discipler (“spiritual parent / spiritual mentor”).
4) Five reasons why Christians may be reluctant to make a commitment to personally mentor a new believer:
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I don’t feel adequate
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That’s not my gift
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I don’t have enough Biblical understanding
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I don’t want to be a hypocrite
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I’m too busy, over-committed
These reasons are usually based on the appraisal of their personal capabilities, rather than faith in God’s capabilities. Many Christians would greatly benefit from being equipped as spiritual mentors.
How many parents would have children if they had waited until they felt their parenting skills were adequate?
Have any of these reasons affected you either in the past or in the present?
Have you surrendered (Lordship) to His leadership?
Are you presently seeing God’s victory in your life?
5) Many churches don’t have an intentional process and expectation for spiritual mentoring. It often is not promoted and modeled by many older believers nor the pastors and church leaders.
The typical newer believer will imitate older believers who they look up to, or with whom they associate. Thus, every believer is a role model for other believers, even if they don’t want to be.
1 Peter 5:1-3 (leaders are told) … I exhort the elders among you: Shepherd God’s flock among you, … not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.
Leadership cannot just tell people what to do, but rather, show them what to do. Can Christian leaders realistically expect followers to imitate what they themselves are not modeling (by example)?
6) The church community typically focuses on making converts rather than making disciples.
Jesus, in giving us the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20), said to go into all the world and make disciples, not just converts. This, then, brings up the need to distinguish between a “disciple” and a “non-disciple”. We believe it is true to say that not all believers are disciples, from the Biblical standpoint.
7) Biblical truth is often presented in isolated (topical) form, without a good understanding of how it fits into the Christian life as a whole. This leads to the believer’s life becoming compartmentalized.
Imagine watching a Power Point presentation of a project, a medical procedure, or someone’s family vacation. You would normally expect the presentation to begin with an objective or an overview, and then proceed in a progressive and sequential manner.
But what if the order of the presentation was random? The presenter would be able to explain each individual picture but would generally have difficulty presenting a progressive narrative. The more complicated the material and the greater the unfamiliarity of the viewer, the more difficult it would be to try to make sense out of the presentation.
Many times the Christian life is presented in a similar random order. Thus, the newer believer may have a difficult time trying to fit the isolated pieces together in a sensible way. That is why we recommend that the mentoring relationship begin with a visual overview, Lesson 1-1 (Overview of the Normal Christian Life), followed by a progressive and systematic arrangement of lessons in Phase 1 (Understanding the Christian Life), proven to help make disciples who are a reflection of Jesus and become disciples who make disciples.
ANALOGY: You don’t begin building a house by picking out curtains or putting on the roof. What do you have to do first?
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Look at the plans – and lay the foundation.
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Then you construct the house in the proper order by putting up the walls before you put on the roof - so it will be a sturdy building.
Likewise, the lessons in Phase 1 are intentionally designed to allow the Holy Spirit to form mature believers by beginning with foundational concepts of the Christian walk.
8) Why do children of believers often become resistant to the values of their parents?
We suspect that in many cases what the child sees modeled in the home has more impact than what the child is told. In other words, a parent may make declarations of Biblical values and convictions, but the child may not adopt those same stated values and convictions if there is not a consistency in the everyday living out of those values, if “the walk doesn’t match the talk.”
If I tell my child about the importance of living for eternity, but then demonstrate by my life that this temporary life on earth is of greater importance, which will they believe, my words or my life? It is relatively easy for a Christian to portray a consistent spiritual life to those with whom they only have short periods of contact each week (Sunday mornings), but it is very difficult to hide the real life values and convictions from children who are continually watching, and imitating.
Keep in mind, however, that children have free will – and the enemy will work on them. Pray for your children (and grandchildren) daily, as you walk out your journey of Lordship (surrender) and Abiding daily (living in constant fellowship with the Lord), allowing Him to continue His transformation of you. Children will be impacted. And we have His promise: Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (NKJV)
Go to Spiritual Formation How Do New Beleivers Grow Spiritually